disheartens:

don’t you just hate it when you want to get to know someone but you have no idea what to talk about

(via theartofbeingsatisfied)

nicolascageholocaust:

We can only be friends if you’re kind of an asshole. Not full blown asshole because that’s no fun. And if you’re not an asshole at all then that won’t work either. A halfway asshole. Those are my kind of people.

(via theartofbeingsatisfied)

"My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them."

(via wolf-cub)

(Source: makelovetothemoon, via theartofbeingsatisfied)

steven-stoned:

OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY I WAS IN MY BIOLOGY LESSON JUST NOW AND WE WERE LEARNING ABOUT PLANT SEX ORGANS AND WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT CUCUMBERS AND WE MADE OUR TEACHER TYPE “WHAT SEX ARE CUCUMBERS?” INTO GOOGLE AN D SHE CLICKED ON THE FIRST LINK WITHOUT THINKING AND IT WAS A FUCKING GALLERY OF IMAGES OF SEXUAL PENETRATION USING CUCUMBERS AN D SHE SCREAMED AND SHE WAS TRYING TO GET I T OFF THE SCREEN AND I WAS FUCKING LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

(Source: steven-stoned, via oliviacarrion)

heykarli:

My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.

(via oliviacarrion)

bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(via oliviacarrion)

deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there

(via oliviacarrion)

dionnelips:

When I get excited about something my friend has no interest in.

dionnelips:

When I get excited about something my friend has no interest in.

(via oliviacarrion)

vinebox:

We all have that one awkward couple at school

(via oliviacarrion)

(Source: epic-vines, via oliviacarrion)

youknowyouarerussianwhen:

This professor could not find a projector and drew the map of the world himself.

youknowyouarerussianwhen:

This professor could not find a projector and drew the map of the world himself.

(via oliviacarrion)